Well……….what can I say?

This week’s announcement was hard and, although I am in full support of the choices our government are making in their efforts to navigate the challenge of Delta, I was still left reeling by it all. I did not expect a move to level 2 yet, but I did think it might happen in another week or so….maybe.

A dear friend of mine recently posted about the power of ‘And’ – here is my current experience of this……

I agree with the continuation of level 3 in a bid to reduce the affect of Delta AND I am feeling sad, angry and worried.

I appreciate the effort to give us more freedom in this 3 stage process AND it feels like it isn’t enough.

I understand the government’s concern over people practicing yoga together indoors AND I believe we can do this safely if we follow guidelines.

I want us to take as long as we need to conquer this AND I want life to feel normal again really soon.

I am fortunate to possess many tools for resilience, I practice yoga and meditate every day AND I am finding this hard.

I trust that everything will turn out exactly as it is meant too AND I sometimes feel I can barely hold my head above water.

In short, I am feeling all the feels and experiencing all the polarities that come with uncertainty, disappointment, fear and sadness.

It’s a really tough time!

If any of this is familiar to you, please know, as I do, that you are not alone AND that it is ok to cry, shake your fist at the sky and lose faith sometimes.

I did a lot of that yesterday. After the announcement I took myself for a walk, sobbed a little, fumed a little, felt deflated….a lot, and then came home, closed my bedroom door and lay on my bed while my darling children made dinner. And I felt a little more ok.

This morning I woke up, went for a walk, listened to twerking music 😉 meditated and stretched.

And I felt even more ok.

Tomorrow I imagine I will top up my ‘okay-ness’ further still and so on and so on over the coming days, until I feel stronger again. Because this is how resilience works. Resilience does not mean we never fall down or cry, or fume or shake our fists at the sky. Resilience means we get back up again, a little quicker and a little more whole, than last time. These are the thoughts I hold onto. These and the daily reminder that I am only human, that I will worry and lose faith sometimes, that I will laugh and be joy filled at other times.

This is life.

But Today,

Today I am ok,

I piece myself back together

One tear and sigh at a time

I peel myself up off the floor

and raise my head to the sun

and feel it full on my face.

Today, I am ok.