Many men carry a quiet longing, for greater purpose, deeper connection, and a sense of belonging that goes beyond achievement or success. Ahead of this year’s ReWild retreat, we spoke with facilitator Jaime Howell about what men are searching for today and why spaces of honest connection matter more than ever.
What inspired you to create the ReWild Retreat and what do you hope men take away from the experience?
The ReWild Retreat has evolved from more than twenty years of developing rites of passage processes with men. Over the last decade I have studied with Bill Plotkin and Animas Valley Institute, and that work helped me recognise the value of reconnecting with our wild nature—our instincts for what is wholesome, authentic, and alive.
An apprenticeship to wildness is quite different from the conforming and consuming habits encouraged by a capitalist culture. At the heart of the ReWild programme is a commitment to helping men mature their relationship with the ego, become more self-aware, reconnect with nature, and develop a greater capacity to feel, create, and contribute.
Men of all ages walked away from Mana last year feeling more connected to their creative potential and personal power. There was a deep sense that a meaningful step had been taken toward feeling more at home in themselves, a form of belonging that feels both grounded and alive—more inspired, more connected, and more fully present.
The modalities we use are both ancient and contemporary.
- Circling (also called The Way of Council) is the practice of speaking honestly and unedited from the heart. It can sound intimidating, yet most men discover it to be profoundly liberating. So much of our work is to create this village where what is alive can move through us.
- Body Engagement directly, through music, movement, and embodied practices, men are able to release patterns that have been held for years.
- Mythology and Symbol, part of what we are doing is awakening older dimensions of being human. These parts of the psyche do not primarily communicate through logic and analysis. They speak through image, symbol, story, dream, and imagination.
The most valuable aspect of this retreat for me, is that it offers men skills and maps. Many men spend years climbing a ladder only to discover it was leaning against the wrong wall. Most of us have never been taught about the many voices that live inside us, nor how to relate to them wisely. We often assume we are those voices.
I believe much of the depression and disconnection we see today stems from a lack of meaningful maps, supportive communities, and opportunities to share honestly about what matters most. The theme for this year’s ReWild Retreat is an exploration of power.
How can we move beyond cultures of power-over and power-under, and into a culture of power-with and power-for life?
Healthy power is power with life. It grows through connection: connection to ourselves, to nature, to imagination, to creativity, and to the deeper intelligence that moves through dreams, symbols, and stories. Power is not something we possess as much as something we learn to participate with.
Apart from becoming a loving, mischievous, musical father, one of the greatest privileges of my life has been helping to create rites of passage experiences for younger men. It fills my cup to overflowing.
What do you think so many men are quietly longing for right now, despite outward success or the expectations modern culture places on masculinity?
I believe many men are longing to be in service to something larger than themselves. Men want to feel that what they do matters. I think men are longing for more than simply providing. They want to feel at home in their bodies. They want healthy, fulfilling relationships. They want to contribute something of value and leave the world a little better than they found it.
I think younger men, in particular, are hungry to be seen by older men who have lived with integrity, accumulated wisdom, and remain open to mystery. I believe as men we want to love, be loved and not feel blocked, numb, or trapped inside defensive patterns that may have been inherited from previous generations.
What happens when men move into adulthood without meaningful rites of passage?
In the absence of relevant rites of passage, many men become stuck in forms of prolonged or even pathological adolescence. If you want examples, all we need to do is look around at some of the power hungry males, never quite satisfied, always wanting more power. His worldview is narrow. His actions can be reactive rather than reflective. The consequences are harmful to himself, to others, and to the environment of the planet.
This is where rites of passage become so important. A genuine rite of passage marks a transition. It helps a man recognise that adulthood is not simply a matter of age. It requires an ongoing willingness to undertake the challenges of inner work. We are talking about:
- integrating childhood wounds
- becoming familiar with projection and the risks and power of the human shadow
- developing increasing levels of self-awareness
The brave, caring and ultimately rewarding work and to do it we need a village, a community of men who are willing to show up and support each other.
Why do you think spaces of honest brotherhood and community are so important for men and why have so many men lost connection to that?
Our time has become monetised.
We have largely lost the everyday spaces where wisdom can be cultivated together.
In the absence of wise elders, with social media offering endless noise, new age paths that lack substance, and many traditional institutions struggling to remain relevant, where are men meant to learn how to gather and support one another?
Another reason is that many of our fathers, grandfathers, and generations before them carried wounds that were never acknowledged. Buried wounds do not disappear. As Bessel van der Kolk reminds us in The Body Keeps the Score. What is denied and repressed tends to grow and distort. There is knowledge that something is asking for attention but its power can create strong resistance.
We are living in a state of unprecedented busyness and technological stimulation. Human nervous systems were never designed for this level of constant engagement. There is not enough space to digest experience, build meaningful relationships, and undertake the slow work of healing.
Perhaps most significantly, we have lost many of our elders. Media and marketing have become the primary storytellers of our culture. There is a profound difference between being older and being an elder. An elder has matured through love and pain. An elder carries wisdom earned through experience. An elder knows how to bless and encourage younger generations. An elder is motivated by service to life.
What do you hope men walk away with after these three days? What would you say to the man reading this who feels something stir inside him?
Trust that feeling.
It may be your instinct recognising something important.
Then, know another part of the mind may well offer all kinds of resistance. Not now. It’s too expensive. I see these as guardians of the threshold. They have their function, but my experience is that they do not like change. As the saying goes, ego makes a fantastic servant but a lousy master.
I am not suggesting that attending a retreat will solve everything. Far from it. Inner work is demanding. It requires courage, honesty, humility, and persistence. Yet I have found that once a genuine step is taken, support often appears. For every brave step we take toward life, life seems to take a step toward us.
The deeper purpose of this work is not self-improvement for its own sake. We undertake it because our growth becomes a gift to others. We become better partners, fathers, friends, leaders, and community members. For me, that is the heart of power. And it is one of the threads that leads toward contentment, belonging, and a genuine love of life.
Written by Jaime Howell
To read more about Jaime’s path to ReWild, click here
To book Jaime’s ReWild Retreat, click here
